Well. This has been a long weekend and it hasn't even started yet. My son the corporate namesake, has been sick the past few days. Last night his breathing got really bad so we wound up in the ER at 1 this morning taking care of him. Despite his discomfort, he was mostly his usual smiling, happy self, had the ER staff totally adoring him. (side note and my second official review in this blog- the ER staff at Rady Children's hospital totally rocks) They had to give him a couple of treatments of albuterol though a nebulizer and some steroids to open his lungs up. So next week we have to decide if he is going to play major league baseball or become a professional cyclist. Spoiler alert- he's ok, too early to tell if it was just a reaction to a viral or other issue, or if he's going to wind up with asthma like his mom. We are hoping for the first option. But he is doing much better today.
So, other than him being the corporate namesake, what does this have to do with photography and my efforts to go pro- that is the theoretical focus of this blog and what you all want to read about right? Well, there are three distinct connections so far:
First, when the first nebulizer came out and he realized it was helping, he totally started puffing away on it like a hookah or little baby bong. It took every ounce of self control that my sleep and coffee deprived mind had left to keep me from pulling out the phone camera and posting an instagram with some catchy title about baby's first bong hit.... I think the only thing that really saved me was fear of mom breaking said phone camera in half and doing painful things involving those halves and my anatomy. So I guess I learned a good lesson about self preservation- some times the shot is worth the risk, but other times you just have to let it go. I could also say something about being present in the moment vice being removed thought he distance of the lens, but I still haven't slept yet and that would open a whole other tangent that I am not coherent enough to explore right now. Remind me to post on that sometime in the future.
Second one came today. While driving around all day between picking up prescriptions and follow up appointments, I got a message from someone whose event I shot a while back. They have an event tonight and the club's regular photographer called in sick, they really liked my shots from last time, could I come out and shoot? My first offer of a paid photo gig. And I had to turn it down. Self preservation again. Not only because if I left sick baby and mom to go out to a club, even for a paid gig, I may come home to find the locks changed, but mostly because after having been awake for 38 hours or so now I think even if I managed to drive there, I would probably fall asleep at the wheel on the trip home. I love photography. I am stoked that the event team liked my work enough that they wanted to hire me. But I have to put my family first and hope that more paid work will come my way in the future.
Finally, I had lots of time to spend in my own head last night and throughout the day today, lots of mental gymnastics trying to keep awake and distracted. Decided that when I get the tax refund, instead of going halfway and getting the D600, I am just going to dive all the way in and find a gently used D3S or D4 out there. Figure that will be my signal to the universe and myself that this isn't a half-assed thing, I am going for it. I want to put that out into the universe and let the energy come back. Been reading a great book (hey- review number three) The War of Art (go back and read that again, it isn't the Sun Tzu you're thinking of... It's mostly about writing, but applies to any art or quest, and one of the things that struck me is wht he said about turning pro. It isn't about getting paid, it isn't about what you do, it's about how you think of yourself and how you approach your work. So getting the best body and lenses I can is me treating myself like the pro I am, putting who I want to be out there and then letting the universe grow me into it. I know that just having a high end, expensive camera won't make me a better photographer any more than buying a ferrari would make me a better driver. But what the better tool will do is enable to to become a better photographer, become a knight worthy of excalibur... hm... do pros name their cameras? Excalibur seem like a good name for my first pro body.... come on IRS....
So there you have it. That is what I learned about photography from a sleepless night in the ER with the most awesome kid in the whole world. Now I am gonna go sleep for a month.
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