Top 5 things to travel with if you want the TSA to give you some extra special lovin'....

   Ok- not a photography post per se, but lots of photographers travel, and as I am getting ready for a cross country trip, I was wondering what to post before I take the workstation apart. The answer is this list, inspired by the bottle opener I used to open a beer to celebrate completion of packing.

   A while back, when I shot a fundraiser for the Travis Manion foundation,  and one of the favors was a fifty caliber round that had been turned into a bottle opener.

   It's my favorite bottle opener, more sturdy than an other one I own, works like a champ, and as I used it, I wondered what would happen if I stuck this in my carry on and went through the TSA checkpoint. (If you want to get your own, you can do it here).

  DISCLAIMER: I actually have no idea what would happen if you tried to bring any of these things through security, you will probably wind up arrested, and most assuredly miss your flight. Without further legal notices, here comes the list.

5) Bullet Bottle Opener. As I mentioned above, this is the best bottle opener I have ever used. And it doesn't hurt that I think the browning Ma Deuce .50 cal is one of the two best weapons ever created- the other being the 1911 .45. Seriously, if the design of the weapon has remained basically unchanged and still in use for roughly a century or so, you have to figure they did something right.

4) Bullet Pen. Along the same lines as the bottle opener above. I actually had one of these before there were hundreds of companies making them, I got mine from a gunners mate on my second ship who made them in his garage in his spare time. Hope he is getting rich off the royalties from all the copycats these days, can't find his original site anymore.

3) Bomb alarm clock.  I think in the pre-911 days these used to be in the SkyMall catalogue, now I cannot even imaging the hilarious chaos that would ensue if someone put one of these in a carry on bag and went through security.

2) Hand Grenade Paper Weight. Yeah. Same as above. This might get you thrown to the floor with guns pointed at your head. But still hilarious for everyone else.... once they realize they aren't going to die.

1) Atomic Bomb Shot Glasses. I mean, you have to finish your drink before you go through the checkpoint anyway, because heaven forbid someone tries to use perrier to take over the plane.... may as well do it in style as you await your lawyer.....

  Ok- those were in no particular order, and again, you may get arrested for bringing any of those to security, but the idea amused me so I felt like posting. It actually annoys me that we go to such great lengths for security theater which doesn't really make us safer at all. Chances are, the TSA wouldn't notice if you had any of these in your carry on. Seriously, looks like you have about a 95% chance of getting something past the window dressing that was put in place as a knee jerk reaction. But real security would take work, and training, and learning to actually deal with people instead of relying on money and technology to fix everything.

   Thankfully, I will not be flying the friendly skies cross country, as I am sure this post will get me on a watch list somewhere along with the rest of the babies and other horrible threats. (in defense of the TSA, some of what my son has done in his diaper and around the house could legitimately be classified as explosive.....)

   Now I am rambling. To take it back to photography, what we have in our airports isn't real security, it's the photoshopped version... everyone knows it's fake, but we all pretend to believe it.

  That's all for tonight, I'll post more once I am up and running in my next place. Enjoy your flight!